i've never seen a light move like yours can do to me

Well I guess it's finally time for an entry in the old blog....

The truth is that I'm not very confident. No, that's not true. I'm just not as confident as I may seem. I would be lying if I said I had no insecurities. But I've just always been a more passive person and my opinion of myself varies from day to day. I don't always feel great. In fact, some days I feel pretty lousy. These insecurities are magnified when I'm in a relationship with someone. I'm constantly wondering, am I measuring up to their expectations? Am I everything that I said I was going to be? Are they just counting down the days until I'm out of their hair? And then I think I create a problem that, in reality, never existed in the first place and then I'm back where I started. Alone. I push people away until I push them hard enough that they can't take it anymore and then they're gone and I have to pick up the pieces yet again. Maybe this time will be different. I hope.

They say that eventually, a day will come where you know that everything starts right there. The first day of the rest of your life. I guess you know it when it happens...probably not the kind of thing you miss.

Still waiting,
Jenna