It is early July, yet it feels like a day in the middle of spring - it shouldn't really be a surprise though considering the erratic weather we've had all year. Strange year, that's for sure. So I guess you can't blame the weather when it's the circumstances making you sweat. To say I'm tired is the understatement of the fucking decade. But somehow I'm handling it. It's rolling off my back. But if I said there wasn't confusion, I'd be lying. There's always confusion, congestion, claustrophobia. But there's something else. Clarity. This may sound strange, but as I'm finding the things I don't like about myself, and starting to change them, everything's just becoming clearer. And for the first time ever I'm focusing on the inside without even realizing it. I used to feel like, "well, if I just change the outside, the inside will take care of itself." Well, I'm just now finding out that, guess what? that doesn't work. I'm finding myself smiling. I'm finding myself happy. How about that? Everywhere I look, damn. There I am.
This weekend: Friday, double shift at the Bee's...Saturday, DJ at Schmoxey's...Sunday, work at the Apple again. Should be relatively uneventful. But maybe I'll get lucky :)
R.I.P. Bailey...love you boy.
Love,
Jenna
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