feel those colors changing

Sometimes there is just something that needs to be said so badly that it takes every ounce of your being to not let it spill out everywhere. You literally have to bite your tongue and dig your nails into your palms because if you say it, people will be hurt, lives will be questioned, relationships will change, and there will probably be yelling. Lots of yelling. So you keep it inside. You don't say it. Because that would be selfish.

You can't always tell when someone is at the end of their rope. We are trained to hide. We need to prove that we are steel...solid in our beliefs, unwavering till the end. We're fine, we're fine, we're fine. But when does fine become too great a burden? What if we find ourselves questioning everything we've ever believed? What then? Does it really all find its way in time? It's hard to not feel the pressure to be tough all the time. Maybe we don't have to always be tough. Maybe it's okay to let our guard down and be honest with ourselves about how we feel. How about, "Ya know what? Yeah...this fucking sucks. I hate it. And I'm not gonna pretend that I'm ok with everything that's happening and I don't think it's fair and I'm fucking angry." But no. We get, "I'm fine." Enough is enough. Say exactly what you mean. Be impeccable with your word. Set yourself free. Cause lying is bullshit. I think you're bullshit. And from now on, I'm going to tell you.

Ran five miles yesterday...amazing what we're capable of doing when we stop fucking bitching.

Yeah bitches.